Loving Yourself: 7 Concrete Steps (Step 1)
Whenever I see posts about loving yourself I cringe. They are usually written in a very abstract way, as if loving yourself was a decision one makes and then it suddenly happens, like flipping a switch. It’s not. There are very real, concrete steps you can take to start loving yourself. This is the first in a series of posts designed to provide you with some concrete steps you can take to learning to love the amazing woman that you are.
Step One: Get to Know Yourself
A good place to begin in learning to love yourself is by getting to know yourself. You are an amazing person, unlike any other in the entire world. There is only one of you, unique and one of a kind. But, what makes you different and special? Discovering this is one of the greatest joys to being alive. Everything we have ever experienced or been exposed to contributes to your uniqueness. All of your likes and dislikes, your talents and skills, your values and preferences combine to create your unique self.
So, Why Don’t We Already Know How to Do This?
Many of us have spent so much time caring for others that we don’t know where they end and we begin. Our selves have become enmeshed in them. Sometimes, it happens. We spend so much time caring for someone else, a child or parent that the line between us and them becomes blurred. Often in unhealthy family or work relationships the line between us an abusive person becomes unclear. We think their needs are more important than our own.
There are many ways to get to know yourself. One, easy first step is to think about what you used to like to do as a child. Were there activities that you used to enjoy or dreams that you had that you dropped somewhere along the way? I wrote about the process of reconnecting with myself in my memoir Center of Gravity. I reconnected with some pieces of myself that had been buried for a long time, like my love of nature and music. You will also want to get to know some new things about yourself.
An important strategy to getting to know your juicy, new self is to begin to listen to your intuition, that small, quiet voice inside that speaks in whispers. When you begin to listen to it, your intuition will lead you toward your true self. Your intuition will give you clues. It will feel like slight inclinations that you need to explore. You may see something that just catches your eye, leading you to some new knowledge about yourself… maybe a small notice on a bulletin board about a dance class that sounds interesting… maybe a friend mentions an upcoming concert that sounds like fun… It could be anything, only you will know… If you find your mind coming back to the clue, you might want to follow it. See where it leads. It may lead you back to yourself.
Stay Tuned for Step 2 in the series “Loving Yourself: 7 Concrete Steps.”
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